Comments on: my dad hasn’t ever bothered with me or my sisters, should i just give up on him and leave him to it? http://alcoholismaddictiontreatment.net/my-dad-hasnt-ever-bothered-with-me-or-my-sisters-should-i-just-give-up-on-him-and-leave-him-to-it.html Alcohol Addiction Treatment Information Guide Fri, 03 Feb 2012 06:31:19 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: no it 2 http://alcoholismaddictiontreatment.net/my-dad-hasnt-ever-bothered-with-me-or-my-sisters-should-i-just-give-up-on-him-and-leave-him-to-it.html/comment-page-1#comment-208 no it 2 Thu, 28 May 2009 21:51:16 +0000 http://alcoholismaddictiontreatment.net/my-dad-hasnt-ever-bothered-with-me-or-my-sisters-should-i-just-give-up-on-him-and-leave-him-to-it.html#comment-208 Just consider him a waste of time the guy will never change. Any man can make child but it takes a real man to be a dad Just consider him a waste of time the guy will never change. Any man can make child but it takes a real man to be a dad

]]> By: marla http://alcoholismaddictiontreatment.net/my-dad-hasnt-ever-bothered-with-me-or-my-sisters-should-i-just-give-up-on-him-and-leave-him-to-it.html/comment-page-1#comment-207 marla Tue, 26 May 2009 06:52:50 +0000 http://alcoholismaddictiontreatment.net/my-dad-hasnt-ever-bothered-with-me-or-my-sisters-should-i-just-give-up-on-him-and-leave-him-to-it.html#comment-207 First of all I don't think you've been rejected. Rejection is a conscious decision, and if everything you said is true I don't think your dad has the ability to consciously reject you because of his alcoholism. Having said that, I deal with a similar problem with my Dad, only he does not have any addictions I can blame his lack of action on. It's the 'got a new wife, got a new life' syndrome. Since he got re-married he won't talk to me. (literally, we got into a fight over his new wife insulting my mom, and he said he does not want me to ever call him again) At first this was devastating to me, but now I could care less. It became easier for me to just be fatherless then to try and become someone I am not for a man who chose a second marriage his children. So I guess I am saying that your not alone. If I could do it all again I would still have gotten into that fight, and I still would not talk to my father. However I am in my 20s, and was when he told me to **** off. You may feel differently because of your age and experience. I think the best thing you can do is realize that you can't change what you have or who your father is. Additionally, even if things change you still have to deal with the pain that he has already created. So try to figure out what you want then try to make choices that you think will bring about that life. Just be aware that you cannot dictate or chose what other people will do, so everything you decide has to be bassed on your actions. If in your minds eye you see your Dad walking you down the aisle or being there when you have your first baby you need to figure out what type of relationship you can have with him to make that a possibility. If you see those type of life events taking place without him already, then I think you have your answer, whether you like it or not. Things like this are painful no matter what you do. There is no right answer, and there is no magic fix it pill, there is only what you want and what you do to get it. Good luck, and if you do cut him out that is his fault not yours. He is the parent in this situation, its his job to be raising you and teaching you how to deal with these situations. Obviously he is not doing it so the blame is on him. First of all I don’t think you’ve been rejected. Rejection is a conscious decision, and if everything you said is true I don’t think your dad has the ability to consciously reject you because of his alcoholism. Having said that, I deal with a similar problem with my Dad, only he does not have any addictions I can blame his lack of action on. It’s the ‘got a new wife, got a new life’ syndrome. Since he got re-married he won’t talk to me. (literally, we got into a fight over his new wife insulting my mom, and he said he does not want me to ever call him again) At first this was devastating to me, but now I could care less. It became easier for me to just be fatherless then to try and become someone I am not for a man who chose a second marriage his children.

So I guess I am saying that your not alone. If I could do it all again I would still have gotten into that fight, and I still would not talk to my father. However I am in my 20s, and was when he told me to **** off. You may feel differently because of your age and experience.

I think the best thing you can do is realize that you can’t change what you have or who your father is. Additionally, even if things change you still have to deal with the pain that he has already created. So try to figure out what you want then try to make choices that you think will bring about that life. Just be aware that you cannot dictate or chose what other people will do, so everything you decide has to be bassed on your actions. If in your minds eye you see your Dad walking you down the aisle or being there when you have your first baby you need to figure out what type of relationship you can have with him to make that a possibility. If you see those type of life events taking place without him already, then I think you have your answer, whether you like it or not. Things like this are painful no matter what you do. There is no right answer, and there is no magic fix it pill, there is only what you want and what you do to get it. Good luck, and if you do cut him out that is his fault not yours. He is the parent in this situation, its his job to be raising you and teaching you how to deal with these situations. Obviously he is not doing it so the blame is on him.

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